All neologisms originated by Matthew Dwight Moore, PhD (2022) unless otherwise noted. Feel free to use them, but give credit if you can. There are 275 entries to date.
ABFORMAL: Any aspect of etiquette or decorum that makes no logical sense. For example: neckties, honorific titles designating married status for women such as Mrs., Ms., or Miss (what does their married status matter?), males holding doors open for women (what about trans?), women wear hats in church but men don’t (?)
ADULT MOVIES: Movies that don’t dumb things down for their audiences. They often have conflicted characters, complicated themes that can be understood by mature people, and ambiguous endings. They never contain superheroes or are designed for 13-year-old boys. They do not indicate how the audience is supposed to feel about what’s happening. For example, Blue Velvet (1986), Lonestar (1996), The Sweet Hereafter (1997), Lost in Translation (2003), Junebug (2004) The New World (2005), No Country for Old Men (2007), The Tree of Life (2011), Frances Ha and Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012), Burning (2018), Parasite (2019), and Nomadland (2020) plus tons of American New Wave/ indie films from the 60s, 70s and 80s.
(WARNING: This use of the term contradicts the traditional notion that “adult” is synonymous with “pornography.” If you use this term without explaining, you will run into some interesting social situations.)
ALCOHOMA!: An obscure Rogers and Hammerstein musical about raging alcoholics living in the Wild West.
ALTERLECT: A dialect from the future or refracted reality, such as the words in this glossary.
AMPUTITE: The act of trying to blunt or suppress one’s appetite, especially when hungering badly. Alternate definition: when one is so hungry they could eat a limb (Partially attributed to Malcolm Moore) *
APPLETIZER: A healthy preliminary snack consisting primarily of healthy foods such as fruits and/or vegetables. (Attributed to Malcolm Moore.) *
ARBORTECTURE: Aesthetic gardening or sculpting accomplished with trees and bushes. Alternately sculpted with woody material, as with a wreath or basket.
ARBORTION: Weeding, especially pulling little tree saplings from a garden.
ARTEXTULATE: An adjective meaning having the ability to write complete grammatically correct sentences via text.
ASSESSINATION: Killing the enthusiasm for learning, achieved by excessive or high-stakes standardized testing.
BADVERTISING: Advertising a product or service that is morally questionable. Alternately, advertising that uses ethically questionable tactics.
BANANAZA: An over-abundance of bananas (or similar fruits).
BITCHIN’ TABLE: The dining table around which the family yammers, bickers, and argues.
BOGRAPHY: A biography that only stresses the questionable or swampy parts.
BOARDGASM: The state of getting extremely excited over the prospect of playing certain board games, a state mostly experienced by hard core strategy gamers.
BICKLE: A bad pickle.
BI-RADE: Unlike a tirade in which one angry person soliloquizes, an argument in which both parties are about equal in their level of intensity or vehemence, often expressed simultaneously.
BANDAISSE: A delicious condiment or spread that can be used both as a topical antibiotic cream for wounds and on snacks. (A product in development with McJohnson and McJohnson).
BEDSTRONG: Being especially determined to go to bed (usually at night). Conversely, being especially determined to stay in bed (usually in the morning).
BROMENT: When two guys friends have a special moment together. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *
BROQUET: (Rhymes with “bouquet”) A gift of endearment given from one guy to another.
BUNKBIKE: A double decker bike. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *
BUTTBACK: The area on one’s backside between the lower back and the buttocks.
CAFFSTINENCE: Abstaining from caffeine, a teetotaler regarding coffee (and sometimes caffeinated soft drinks).
CAMOPHONE: A phone that so easily blends into its surroundings visually that it is not detected and (temporarily) pronounced lost.
CANKERSOROUS: A particularly ferocious canker sore. It will eventually become extinct. (Attributed to Malcolm Moore.) *
CARERIST: (CARE-er-ist) The opposite of a terrorist, a person who shows people radical compassion.
CARMONY: That rare occasion when an entire family travelling in the same car happens to be getting along very well with everyone else in the car.
CATASTROPHOBIA: Paralyzing fear of doing anything for fear of bringing about negative results.
CATHARCASM: When the only semblance of control is an ironical diatribe. (Attributed to Megan Hoose) *
CATHOLETE: One who takes their Catholic faith very seriously.
CATOUFLAGE: The state of a cat being hidden in plain sight.
CATTIBAL: A cat that eats other cats. (obscure)
CHRONOCHAOS: (CHRO-no-CHA-os) A facet of popular culture typified by a hodge-podge of cultural artifacts from different eras, resulting in a high degree of anachronism.
CHRONONAUT: A time traveler; technically all creatures are traveling through time.
COFFURE: The smell of roasted coffee from a coffee house that lingers in one’s hair (and clothes) after leaving.
COLDIAL: (Sounds like “cordial”) Being cordial towards another to the point of being cold or even heartless. (See CONDECENTING.)
COLESLOTH: Any dinner side dish that always ends up languishing in the refrigerator for days.
CONDECENTING : Treating another in a condescending manner but veiled under a patina of looking decent or even kind. (See COLDIAL.)
CONDOMSATION: Any moisture found inside or out of a prophylactic.
COOLEAGUE: That coworker who exudes cool.
COOPED DOWN: Feeling stuck in one’s home, similar to “cabin fever” but veering towards depression. See PANDEMIA.
COPSULATION: When two police cars are parked together facing in opposite directions, their drivers apparently “just talking.”
CRANKY CARD: A credit card that doesn’t always work.
CRAPTOP: A laptop computer whose infuriating technical problems render it nearly a pile of unusable garbage to the user.
CREATIVOLOGIST: One who active creates or studies multiple artistic forms (e.g., sculpture, music history, and poetry). Polyaesthephiles are, by definition, prone to be creativologists. (See POLYAESTHEPHILE.)
CRONKITIS: A feeling of nostalgia for a golden age (which may or may not have existed) when people generally trusted the news media or at least agreed on the value of accurate factual information, as opposed to the hybrid of news as a public necessity and commercial entertainment often found in the mediaverse. Named in honor of Walter Cronkite, long time news anchorman who was voted “the most trusted man in America” in the 1960s and 70s. (See MEDIAVERSE.)
CRUCI-FICTION: All the non-verifiable truth-claims associated with Jesus’s birth, life, and death.
DEBATICLE: A debate that is really a travesty.
DEBUTAUNTING: When a socialite or elite makes fun of someone.
DEFURESTATION: The baldness that occurs when a cat or dog licks their bodies too much. (Attributed to Malcolm Moore.) *
DEMONTIA: Any particularly diabolical form of dementia or confusion.
DENSICLES: Little dense pockets of matter, items, or particles, like a mid-sized city’s population or dust bunnies under the bed.
DEPLORUM: Bad behavior that has become socially acceptable.
DISEMVOWELED: When someone inadvertently misspells a common word, usually with no sense of solecism.
DIDGERIDUDE: Anyone, sometimes a hipster, who takes up an indigenous musical instrument on impulse, only to abruptly stop practicing it very soon after.
DRAIN KRAKEN: A frightening collection of hair and various materials that collects around a shower drain.
DRAMANTIC: A cross between romantic and dramatic. (Attributed to Jessie Miller) *
DROKE: A drunken joke.
DRONOR: A person who boasts (especially at length) about their charitable donations.
DREAMORY: The confusion over whether something was a really a dream or a legitimate memory. (Attributed to Malcolm Moore.) *
EJACULANTERN: Definition forthcoming.
EMPERGY: Empathy energy, the finite amount of energy or attention one has to spend on others.
ENDSHIP: The period or point in a friendship when things are really over. (Attributed to Sara Moore.) *
ENDURO: A unit of measurement that represents acceleration over time. Distance is measured in meters (m), velocity is measured in distance per second (m/s), and acceleration is measured in velocity per time (m/s/s). Enduros measure acceleration per time (m/s/s/s). How this may be used in theoretical or practical physics is yet unknown.
EPHEMORUS: The Greek god of… wait… I almost have it…
EPICSODIC: Of or referring to an epic story consisting of many little self-contained episodes.
EPONYMISM: (e-PON-y-MIS-m) The long term linguistic/ cultural trend towards converting people associated with things into the words themselves. This usually occurs by turning proper nouns (for example, names) into lower case versions over time (e.g., watts, volts, hertz, boycott, mesmerize, sadistic, diesel, draconian, quixotic, shrapnel, stetson, hooker).
EUROCRITERIA: Using Western values and assumptions as a basis for apprehending other systems found throughout the world. For example, “human rights,” “genocide,” “development,” or “progress,” as defined by the Western Enlightenment.
EXHAUSTIMULATED: The mixture of simultaneously feeling very tired and very excited/ animated.
EXTRAFOLIATE: Exfoliating very very harshly.
EYE-ARREHA: (EYE-ar-REH-a) Chaotic visual art (such as confusing editing in a video or film) that can lead to one’s involuntary rejection of the work being viewed.
FANTISTORY: (fan-TIS-stor-ee) The history of a specific fantasy world in epic speculative fiction and even open worlds in video games. Examples range from J.R.R. Tolkien’s massively sophisticated history of Middle Earth and Aman to C.S. Lewis’s more quaint history of Narnia. This is not technically the same as “alternative history,” which is directly derived from the factual-based history of our reality (and explore “what if” questions that dramatize, for example, if the South won the Civil War or the Wehrmacht developed nuclear weapons, etc.), or the history of alternate reality or alternate reality, but simulates our means for representing history, simply set in a fantasy world.
FABULOUS: The name of a particularly flamboyant Roman emperor. Little is known of Emperor Fabulous except he had a terrific sense of style. (Attributed to Eddie Izzard.) *
FAKESBOOK: The inauthenticity of social media, or the dangerously manipulated nature of how people present their personae and inter-personal relations and communications through social media. Also known as Antisocial Media.
FAKES NEWS: Otherwise known as Fox News. Far from “fair and balanced,” this cable entertainment channel news serves as the official echo chamber of the Trump insurgency. It’s ironic (and downright Orwellian) really how a bunch of adults can call what they do “news” when it’s the opposite of news reporting, especially when they criticize real news reporting as “fake news.”
FAMBUSH: The feeling that your family is ganging up on you. Sometimes experienced during the holidays with extended family who have aggressively different political or religious views than you.
FANSPLAINING: When fans explain their interpretation of a book, movie, show, song, play, work of art, sometimes contradicting the interpretation of professional critics or even the creators of the works themselves.
FATALLERGY: A potentially fatal food allergy. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *
FEETSES: One’s foot or feet after (accidently or not) stepping in (human or animal) dung.
FINTER: The period when fall is turning into winter. See also “Sprummer” and “Sautumn.” There is no period between winter and spring.
FLEXERCIZE: An exercising regimen that vacillates between discipline and utter laziness.
FLIBBY: The end of a sock that has become loosely removed from the toe, therefore hanging limp and purposeless. (Attributed to Allyson Richards.) *
FLIRTILLA: A bunch of people who affectionately follow another, as teenage girls around a hot guy, or FoxNews around Trump.
FLUBTERFUGE: An attempt at being sneaky that is betrayed. For example, tripping when trying to sneak up on someone.
FOOTSBALL: A game of football (a.k.a., American soccer) that is played on a groomed but wild terrain. Like a golf course or cross country course, each footsball field has a standard size, dimensions, and goals, etc., but also wild obstacles such as trees, stumps, rocks, and even streams exist within those parameters of a footsball field, making each field unique. (Jointly attributed to Malcolm Moore and Matthew Dwight Moore.) *
FORTHODOXY: An orthodoxy that is forced upon people. Any time people are coerced into accepting a set of organized beliefs forthodoxy is present. (In Britain it is spelled forcodoxy, the C pronounced with an S sound.)
FOURTH OF JULYOWEEN: A holiday highlighting American history, celebrated by trick-or-treating door to door dressed in spooky costumes of dead victims of America’s historic policies of racism, slavery, sexism, assimilation, genocide, xenophobia, homophobia, manifest destiny, etc.
FRANKENSTEINCENSE: Incense that smells terrible, mainly due to its fusion of unlike fragrances (e.g., cinnamon-curry-ocean beach or chocolate-steak-mint).
FRIDGENOTISM: The experience of becoming transfixed when looking at the open refrigerator, seemingly for hours.
FREEL: That rogue wheel on a shopping cart that refuses to go along with the rest of the wheels, often spinning about aimlessly while the others move dutifully forward. Also known as FREELIE.
FROWNIES: Homemade brownies that have not quite worked out.
FUNDANE: Something typically mundane and easily overlooked that is suddenly seen with new excitement and wonder. (e.g., a bendy straw or velcro)
FUNTON: A futon one can have fun on.
FUNDRAGING: When someone channels their emotions into political donations. (Origin unknown)
GENOCIZE: Responding to the reality of genocide by ignoring or denying it.
GHETTOWAY: A staycation that takes place entirely in your own neighborhood. More common during periods of lockdown and mass quarantine.
GRACERIES: The items a cashier accidentally neglects to ring up. Do you let them know? Do you go back to the store to make sure they get paid for?
GRAMPIRE: Any older person who seems to suck your energy while you’re around them for any period of time. (Attributed to Joshua Miller.) *
GRAMMY CRACKS: Slang for “graham crackers.”
GREEZZA: (Rhymes with “pizza”) Really greasy pizza.
GUILFT: A gift given primarily out of s sense of guilt. (Attributed to Malcolm Moore.) *
GWOINK: The sound a flock of geese makes while flying overhead.
GYPSTER: A person who changes their tastes and consumption based on what seems to be cool or hip at that moment.
HAFFLE: Half an apple.
HAINTED or HAINT: A person or place that is claimed to be haunted by a supernatural entity for which there is, in fact, no evidence. Technically no claims of haunting or ghosts have ever been scientifically confirmed and verified, so all claims of a person or place being haunted can be termed hainted as in “they ain’t really haunted” by any object that can be identified beyond the manifestly physical realm. Instead, haunting claims have seemed to have been discounted by the terms of the scientific method as exemplified by the Sagan standard, and the claims seem to be more scientifically addressed by the theory of mind as fairly understandable psychological, physiological, or sociological processes. Sorry, folks, your house isn’t haunted. It’s hainted.
HANNAKAWEEN: The very long holiday that lasts from Halloween to Hannukah. (Archaic: the eight nights of trick-or-treating for Jewish children that starts on Halloween.)
HARMAPHATHY: The strange human behavior of causing harm (or benefitting from harm) and then not caring to fix it. Examples: climate change, war, racial discrimination, economic disparity, abuse, etc.
HAUNTOLOGY: In studies of history, philosophy, political science, language, and the arts, the tendency of the past to persistently return (or “haunt”) the present. (Attributed to Jacques Derrida.) *
HIGH LENT DISTRICT: A Lenten season characterized by multiple practitioners trying to outdo each other’s extreme sacrifices. For example, if one person decides to give up chocolate, another may try to give up all added sugars.
HIGRESSION: When a discourse is rudely highjacked by a seemingly elite or intellectual conversant, sometimes to make an obscure point or to show off their education or intellect.
HISTORIOCOSMOS: The reality that history is everywhere and everything.
HORRALITY: A moral code or religious system that is creatively interpreted in a manner that seems to give license to or endorsement of horrible actions (such as war, torture, or apathy). (See RIGIDIVISM.)
HOBO SAPIENS: Early humans, who, as nomads or semi-nomads, wandered from continent to continent, populating much of the world over a period of thousands of years, essentially looking for meaningful work and a good meal.
HUMANATEES: The masses of tourists who sunbathe, wade, snorkel, and swim along a beach or seacoast.
ILLEGACY: The way a dead person’s image or moral standing is manipulated to subtly eliminate the bad things they have done.
IMPROVIEW: The review of a book, movie, or song that doesn’t exist.
INSTELLIGENCE: Instinctual intelligence.
INTERDEPENDENCE DAY: (July 5): A holiday celebrating how interconnected and dependent Americans are with the rest of the world. Sometimes celebrated by playing games such as soccer, golf, or tennis that originated outside of America, consuming items that originated outside of America such as coffee, tea, mango, watermelon, wheat, carrots, apple, yams, grapes, chicken, ham, oranges, or checking clothing tags to see where one’s clothes were made. Another way to commemorate the day is to simply ponder the weather, which does not originate from any one place, but connects everyone in our thin, delicately balanced atmosphere.
INTERQUESTIONING: Answering a question with another question.
INFEASTIGATION: (in-FEAST-uh-gay-shon) Checking out a spread of food before partaking. (Attributed to Malcolm Moore.) *
JINGLISM: The camaraderie that happens when a person hums a tune and another person (presumably from the same generation) recognizes the tune and may even join in.
JOYSORROW: The simultaneous feeling of joy and sorrow.
JUNKING: Pigging out on junk food.
KNEEVALUATE: The way a physical injury or age-related limitation (e.g., stiff knees) makes one reconsider engaging in a robust physical activity that was easier to do at a younger age. For example, an aging person may need to deliberate whether or not to jump over a puddle or climb a tree.
LEPRECLONE: Those green kitschy paper decorations that become ubiquitous in the days around St. Patrick’s Day. Can be used to refer to any generic decoration for any given mass holiday.
LINNER: The meal that falls in between lunch and dinner. Sometimes called “first dinner.”
LISTENATIVE: The quality of being a good listener.
LITTERATURD: Books, novels, stories, and poetry that are considered important works but are really just a waste of words.
LOGODIVERSITY: The degree to which the vocabulary in a language community has a variety healthy enough to foster sophisticated and creative thought. (This glossary is an attempt to reseed the English language with new vitality.)
LOUTER: A very loud ear-piercing router. Generally, any very loud electric hand tool.
LUMNATWIST: A lamp that must be clicked two or more times to be turned on.
LURICS: Lines from a song that are particularly catchy. Alternately, lyrics from a song that are designed to be so intriguing or controversial– like click bait– to get people to listen to the song.
LYMALORIAN: An original ethnicity that originates with my family, named for siblings Lydia and Malcolm. True fact: this ethnicity is registered in the 2020 US Census.
MAD HOMINEM: A personal attack made in the heat of the moment in an argument, usually out of a sense of anger or frustration, and usually showing the irrationality of their position within the argument.
MAGASTRIP: The little piece of paper on a magazine received in the mail that has the subscriber’s name on it. Alternatively, it is also the term for the card stuck in the middle of a magazine (either fixed or loose).
MALTRUISM: Being kind and generous for an underlying self-serving reason.
MANNOY: To irritate people as a result of toxic masculinity.
MALLHALLA: Where shopping malls go when they die. (Alternately, a mall that is in fast decline soon after its glory days.)
MASSTADON: A crazy mass-purchasing fad that is now extinct, like Cabbage Patch Kids in the 80s or Tickle Me Elmo in the 90s. They may be extinct, but we will still uncover their artifacts in second hand stores everywhere for years to come.
MAUDACIOUS: Courageously silly and tearful.
MEDIAVERSE: The ecosystem in which the media coexists with culture.
MEGAPAUSE: According to several mansplaining sources, the most extreme phase of menopause, sometimes characterized by intense outbursts of temporary insanity. (Apologies to any woman this offends.)
MELLOCUTION: A mellow tone of voice and general way of speaking that is used to soothe people.
MELTIES: The deflated forms of inflatable Christmas-themed lawn decorations.
MENSTERIOUS: The kind of bodily functions unique to women that are completely mysterious to ignorant men.
MENUFLECT: The act of closing a menu at a restaurant, the international sign that a customer is ready to order.
MEXTERITY: The kind of cultural agility Chicanos or Chicanas sometimes demonstrate in bicultural situations.
MEYAWN: The sound a cat makes when their meow turns into a yawn.
MICROANGELO: A giant artistic masterpiece that’s reduced to a tiny copy, usually found in museum gift shops (e.g., Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel ceiling fresco on a coffee mug, Da Vinci’s The Last Supper on a pickle platter, or Monet’s Water Lilies on toilet paper.)
MILKSTACHE: The residue left on the upper lip and/or philtrum after drinking a glass of milk. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *
MIRACULICIOUS: So delicious as to perform miracles. (See SAUWSOME) (Attributed to Joshua Miller.) *
MOBILE-PHOBIC: The state of being afraid of or reluctant to use cell phones.
MONOPULATE, MONOPULIZE: The act of coercing or strongly persuading an individual to spend time with or engage in some activity with another individual.
MORPHOOD: The last bit of a large eaten meal that makes one start to feel sleepy.
MOODSWING SET: A playground ride where a child’s experiences laughter on one side and sadness on the other. (Attributed to Steven Wright.) *
MUSIE: A passionate lover of music, the equivalent of “foodie.”
MURDERCYCLE: Another word for a motorcycle. Due to the outrageously high fatality rate of motorcycle accidents, motorcycles are objectively dangerous. Start calling them “murdercycles” and see if that changes any minds.
NASTRONAUT: A person who acts in a perpetually nasty manner. One who journeys very far through life with a sour disposition.
NECRETERMINACY: A form of verbal resurrection or conjuration of the dead to use them to one’s one ends. Any time we speak of someone who has died we are engaging in some form of necreterminacy. Some famous dead people are used to endorse a particular belief system or even to sell products.
NEIGHNGER: A (Rhymes with “stranger” and “danger”) A neighbor-stranger hybrid, a neighbor who you barely know. Many people usually have many neighngers living around them. (See SUBURBAVERSE.)
NEXTING: Texting while on a date, especially while physically close to one’s date. (The texting could occur with the other person on the date or, sometimes more controversially, a completely different person who is not present.)
NEXTPERT: Almost an expert. (Attributed to Lydia Moore) *
NEVERYONE: Any anonymous crowd of people (readers, audience, members, or followers) to whom a social media post, text, tweet, or speech is addressed.
NIPPER: The nipple-like bulge created when the zipper that runs down the middle of a hoodie folds outward when zipped up.
NONTROVERSY: A controversy whipped up in the media or by gossip that ultimately has little basis or importance.
NORITOS: Specifically, off-brand Doritos. Generally, any off-brand snacks.
NOWFANGLED: Being entirely accepting of one’s status quo of current events or cultural norms.
OMNOLOGIST: One who studies everything.
ONE-DOWNER: One who tries to argue that they are more misfortunate than anyone they encounter. The opposite of a one-upper.
ONOMASTICATION: Name-eating, sometimes practiced in academic settings, where a person refers to famous scholars or thinkers in a reductive word soup. “The Marxists’ Foucauldian attempts were Pyrrhic.”
ORIGANDHI: Decorative folded paper in the shape of the Mahatma or any other famous leader. (obscure)
ORNERYMENTS: Decorations (especially on a Christmas tree) that won’t behave exactly how you want them to.
ONNOVATE: A mode of innovation or creativity that seeks to distinguish itself from typical modes of innovation.
PAINGRY: When someone’s anger is wrapped up in pain.
PALIMSESTUOUS: The very close-knit connections between texts.
PANDEMIA: The world as it is during a global pandemic. See COOPED DOWN.
PATMOSSERS: Christians who could only be happy in paradise if they knew their enemies were suffering in hell. (Attributed to D. H. Lawrence in his book “Apocalypse,” referring to John of Patmos, who wrote the biblical book of Revelation.) *
PECTONIC SHIFT: Twitching one’s chest muscles at will.
PEDANTICA: A long and boring book or speech that elaborates unnecessarily.
PEDIOSIS: A condition instigated when a shoe store never seems to have one’s size in stock.
PENTHOSOPHY: (penth-OS-o-PHY) Grief-wisdom (from Greek penthos, meaning grief, and sophos, meaning wisdom), the way pain or sorrow can open up one to greater truths.
PESTAURANT: An eating establishment with particularly disgruntled servers. Alternately, a restaurant with particularly disgruntled customers.
PETACURE: A dog or cat claw trimming.
PHOENIS: The genitalia of a phoenix or similar mythological creature.
PLASTAINER: The piece of plastic that holds the cans together in a six-pack. Alternately, any plastic wrap or container.
PLAZY: Lazy play, like that of a mature cat who can barely summon the energy to play with a cat toy while laying squarely on the floor.
POPERY: What gift do you give that pope that has everything? A home? Nope, he has that. A job for life? Already got one. A fabulous library full of priceless secret resources? Try again. Riches? Nope, he has that too. How about popery, a collection of fragrant, decayed, organic blossoms? Popery: the scent of saintly celibacy.
POSTCURSOR: An event or period that follows and is strongly influenced by another event or period.
POINTING IVY: Poison ivy, when identified by a person who points and shouts in alarm, “Look out! That’s poison ivy!”
POLYAESTHEPHILE: (POL-y-AES-the-PHILE) One who is a lover of many simultaneous aesthetic forms (film, literature, music, dance, etc.)
POORFESSOR: A highly underpaid professor, usually an adjunct teaching many classes and getting paid so little that their financial status may even be under the poverty line. Also known as a “poverty professor.”
POORMONTEAU: A portmanteau (i.e., a new word formed by the fusion of two previously existing words) whose significance or applicability is questionable (like some represented in this glossary).
POSSIBILIANISM: A philosophy that rejects the ostensible certainties proposed by both theism on one side and atheism on the other in favor of a middle ground that truly embraces wonder and exploration and rejects dogma. (Attributed to neuroscientist David Eagleman.)
PRAGTASTIC: Something that is wonderful in its mundane use (often used sarcastically). “Twist ties are soooo pragtastic!”
PRAYGRESSIVENESS (pray-GRESS-ive-NESS): The more-or-less passive-aggressive act of a religious person (often an evangelical) telling another that they are praying for them, implying (disapprovingly) that the prayee is guilty of some misdeed or “sinful” behavior.
PRAYDAR: The instinct, among members of a religious community, that a new participant is not a member of that religious community, likely because of a “tell” such as how they act or don’t act during a ritual such as prayer.
PREASTER: The couple of vacation days leading up to Easter. More broadly, this can be used to the lead up to any holiday.
PREMIND: When something reminds you of something you are going to do in the future. “That’s preminds me that I will need to go to the store.” Can also use PREMEMBER.
PROCRASTINAKED: That state of feeling very scared of getting completely naked.
PROTESTIGNORANCE: The sort of blind dismissal of other religions or even other versions of Christianity (e.g., Catholicism) conducted and perpetuated by ignorant Protestants.
PROTOPIA: A middle way between utopia and dystopia. (Attributed to Kevin Kelly.) *
PSYCHIROPRACTOR: A psychotherapist who simultaneously treats a patient’s mental/ emotional issues while readjusting their muscular/ skeletal alignment.
PSYCOLONIZATION: The occupation of someone else’s mental process, whether brainwashing or earworms or obsessive thoughts.
PSYCHOPEDIA: The canon of murderers or criminal psychopaths well-known in a cultural lexicon. For example, Charles Manson and John Wayne Gacy would be in America’s current psychopedia.
RACISTANT: The reluctance towards accepting the intensity of one’s own latent racism or implicit bias regarding race.
RAPTIST: A Baptist or some such Christian who can easily rattle off Bible verses.
RELAXITUDE: A mindset that one should intentionally set aside time and focus some energy in order to relax.
REPARTURE: The awkward experience of saying goodbye to someone only to run into them only a short time later.
RESPAIR: One’s return to health and normalcy after a period of despair. (moribund)
RETROCRACY: A regime that holds power/knowledge over the past, historians serve as intermediary agents that produce an interpretation of a subjected body (the past) that cannot speak for itself, let alone in multilateral dialog with the present, a privileging of the present over the past.
RIGIDIVISM: The tendency of a self-proclaimed “open minded” person to revert to their own previously-held beliefs after being confronted by challenging arguments, thereby ultimately (and ironically) demonstrating their close-mindedness. (See HORRALITY.)
ROBUTT: One’s backside, having been toned by the repetitive motions of a rowing machine or similar exercise mechanism.
ROCKET CHAIR: A rocking chair that is endowed with an extra wide arc or is being rocked with tremendous power. Cats are usually nervous around an active rocket chair.
RUSHTRATING: Feeling irritated for being forced to move along faster than one wants to go.
SACRASTIC: A sometime-inconceivable quality of one who bears (in perpetual tension) both a reverence for the Person and sensibilities of God, and varying degrees of misanthropy.(Attributed to Megan Hoose.) *
a sometime-inconcealable quality of one who bears (in perpetual tension) both a reverence for the Person and sensibilities of God, and varying degrees of misanthropy
SAD MATH: Calculating something that is ultimately depressing. For example, budgeting to find out how little money you have, determining how little weight you’ve lost, or how bad your fuel efficiency is. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *
SADISFIED: There is something disappointing and pathetic when a person “settles” in life (with a job, significant other, their hopes and dreams, etc.). The adjective for this experience is “sadisfied.”
SAR-CHASM: The social gap created by one too many sarcastic remarks, such as when a snarky person finally crosses the line, thereby alienating everyone in the room.
SAUWESOME: An adjective used to describe a hot sauce (or any sauce, really) that is truly amazing. (See MIRACULICIOUS)
SAUTUMN: The period when summer is turning into autumn. See also “Sprummer” and “Finter.” There is no period between winter and spring.
SCARIOUS: A creepy feeling when one’s curiosity draws one into a scary situation. (Attributed to Jeff Fitts.) *
SCATWALKING: The funny action a cat makes when standing on its hind feet, rapidly trying to “walk” its front paws against a door or window or windoor. (See WINDOOR.)
SCOTOMAPHILIA: Literally, the love of blind spots. Used in cognitive psychology and cinema studies. People’s minds exclude data in order to enjoy or appreciate the experience. For example, watching a film requires that the brain ignore the blank frames in between individual frames. Also, ignoring the pollution and human rights issues that occur in a global production chain help Western consumers feel better about their consumption.
SEX-RAY VISION: The ability you imagine everyone has that enables them to detect that you just had sex.
SHAREPORT: A new app that connects people leaving their cars at an airport parking lot with visitors looking to rent a car. Idea created by business entrepreneur L. M. Moore in 2018.
SHARITY: A charitable venture embarked on by two or more people.
SHARKING LOT: A parking lot where cars predatorily troll around looking for ideal parking spots.
SHOOBIE: A new and inexperienced beach tourist, so identified because they wear shoes in the sand at the beach. (Attributed to Joshua Miller.) *
SHOWL: A shawl or wrap of some sort that reveals whatever is beneath.
SLUNCHING: Slouching while eating lunch, usually when a person has only a 30 minute lunch break. (Jointly attributed to Malcolm Moore and Matthew Dwight Moore.) *
SLUNGRY: That synthesis of feeling very sleepy while at the same time feeling very hungry, usually experienced late at night or at bedtime. Will I be able to go to sleep if I don’t eat something now? But I’m sooo hungry. (Jointly attributed to Malcolm Moore and Matthew Dwight Moore while up together late one night.) *
SLUSHBERG: The frozen clumps of dirty snow that cling to a car’s wheel wells.
SMOOSH TUSH: When stroking a cat lengthwise, the tendency for a cat’s back to smoosh just below contact with the hand. (Attributed to Megan Hoose.) *
SNACKERY: The snacking equivalent of “hungry.” The British term is “peckish.”
SNARKOLEPTIC: A person who wakes from their apathy solely in order to level some snarky jibe (for example, bored and sarcastic students).
SNIGLET: Any word that isn’t in the dictionary but should be. (Attributed to Rich Hall.) *
SOCIAL BUTTERFLY KNIFE: A kind of weaponized verbal jab that an extrovert might use in a social situation, often without warning.
SONONYMOUS: When a son is embarrassed to have their parent(s) call them by name in public. (Editors are still working on the female and gender-neutral forms.)
SPARTAPHAGUS: (spar-TA-pha-GUS) A very bare, inexpensive, artless, or otherwise unadorned coffin.
SPECLATIVES: Bad words (or expletives) that are contemplated but not ultimately uttered aloud.
SPRUMMER: The period when spring is turning into summer. See also “Sautumn” and “Finter.” There is no corresponding period between winter and spring.
STOPPORTUNITY: A chance to stop some behavior that happens only at certain junctures, as in stopping an argument from escalating or indulging in drinking or eating too much. One could say pandemia affords one long, sustained stopportunity to reevaluate large scale behaviors of modern civilization (See PANEDMIA.)
STRESSTING: Resting while stressed. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *
STYLICIOUS: Something that is delightfully or deliciously stylish.
SUBURBAVERSE: The bland or generic cultural world of the suburbs. This is an example of “non-place,” a term invented by French anthropologist Marc Augé.
SUPERSTRADITIONS: A set of basic superstitious traditions that are more or less universal in the world. Religious rites that presuppose a deity, prayers of intercession, or habits that suggest one can influence luck or fate are common examples of superstraditions that transcend cultural differences.
SWANKER: An outrageous rich person.
TILAPIADATED: The fishy smell of fish, especially when close to going bad. The state in between fresh and rotten of any seafood.
TEXTAPOSITION: The offbeat poem created by selecting all the center choices offered by autofill.
THREEK: A fork with only three tines. Sometimes this occurs when one of the tines breaks on a cheap plastic four-tined fork. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *
TOPSICLE: A popsicle whose top is deliberately left in order to make it top heavy.
TOXOMASTICS: Place-names tainted by notorious tragedy or abuse (e.g., Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Auschwitz, Chernobyl, Columbine, Sandy Hook, Waco, Ruby Ridge, Valdez, Nuremberg, Sharpeville, Jonestown, Bosnia, Attica, Love Canal, Wounded Knee, Johnstown, Charlottesville, Alcatraz, Nanjin, Andersonville, Kent State University, or any of the scores of notorious American mass shooting locations).
A sub-category of taxomastics includes place-names of notable battle carnage or massacres (e.g., Waterloo, Carthage, Stalingrad, Gettysburg, Normandy, Verdun, Magdeburg, Gallipoli, Ypres, Dien Bien Phu, Alamo, Culloden). Dark tourism, or thanatourism, is a market based on their commodification by the tourism industry.
TRIFFICULT: Something that is both particularly tricky and particularly difficult.
TRUMPENPROLETARIAT: The working class that supported Donald Trump against their own interests.
TSUMAMI: A particularly destructive tsunami, as in “the mother of all tsunamis.”
TWINJAS: Twin ninjas. (obscure)
TWOROTIC: The situation when two people are being neurotic together.
UNCCOMPLISH: To work hard but show no real results. Alternately, when one’s work actually undoes the good work of others who have gone on before.
UNDERCAST: When the sky is mainly sunny and clear. Technically, a sky is considered overcast if at least 95% of it is covered by clouds. An undercast sky is one in which 95% of it is without clouds.
UNI-BRA: Otherwise known as a face mask.
UNICONE: A single traffic cone. Univcones are as rare as the fantasy creatures whose name they resemble. When was the last time you saw one lonely traffic cone?
VENDEREXIA: The common disorder which occurs when a shopper exits a store and has no recollection of where they parked their car.
VIDEOSIS: The urge to enter an appliance store and watch all the TVs turned to the same channel.
VILLAGENCE: Inspired by the word “vigilance,” this denotes being very watchful, but only over your own village or neighborhood.
WALKWARD: The compromised stroll one makes while trying on brand new shoes at a store. (Attributed to Josh Miller.) * Alternately,
WANTY: An alternative to “needy,” which by definition is an adjective about acting on one’s basic needs, such as food, water, etc. “Wanty” denotes acting on one’s wants or desires. Keep needy from being such a negative adjective. Needy people are simply acting on their needs. Wanty people are more driven by things they do not need.
WEDDING RECESSION: That moment when everyone abruptly leaves the dance floor.
WINDOOR: A full-sized storm door made of glass. ( See SCATWALKING) (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *
WIPEND: The little piece of toilet paper that sticks to the end of the roll.
WOMANCE: The female equivalent of a bromance.
WONGRY: That sensation of being hungry but unsure what you’re hungry for. (From “wonder” and “hungry”)
WRONGTEOUSNESS: The quality of seeming morally right to some, but whose logical premises are illogical, the reasoning misguided, or the ramifications are untenable. (See SCOTOMAPHILIA and HORRALITY.)
ZOMBRES: Mexican zombies. (obscure)
ZOOMBIES: a large group of people whose regular psycho-physiological functions have been dramatically altered by repeated sensitization to video chat platforms such as Zoom. (Attributed to Adam Grant)
(C) Matthew Dwight Moore, PhD
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